November 10th, 2014

balloons, horror fiction, Night to Dawn

Where’s the Bread?


Over the last months, I was having trouble tolerating wheat cereals and the like, so a kindly doctor recommended the FODMAPS diet which includes gluten free bread and cereals. Dedicated Italian that I am, I headed to a supermarket and found my beloved spaghetti made from rice, but the rolls left a bitter taste. The bread was hard as cardboard. As I researched the Net for places that might have balloon-lady-friendly bread, something soft as a kitten’s paw brushed my shoulder, and my lovely Mylar balloons called, “Bar-ba-ra! You’re going about this all wrong, Bar-ba-ra!”
Uh-oh. Here it comes, I thought. When my balloons start with the Bar-ba-ra routine, I’m in for the long haul.
Balloons: You’re running to this store, that store, spending money on food you dislike. What do you think you’re doing?
Me: Trying to follow the FODMAPS diet and avoiding wheat products. The tasty substitutes are out there. I’m just not finding them.
Balloons: If you really want tasty brands for a digestible price, you’ll have to go online. Better yet, how about plain old rice instead of spaghetti? It’s cheap and FOODMAP friendly. And speaking of prices, how about fresh chicken when it goes on sale?
Me: My mom used to make fabulous chicken and rice soup. I continued making it until Mike begged me to stop because he hated rice. So I guess I’m cooking chicken and rice soup.
Balloons, patting me on the head: Dat’s wight, wabbit. How about rice with tomato sauce? But watch those spices. And instead of driving across the United States, how about visiting a couple of local health food stores? Betcha they have the tasty rolls you want.
Me, nodding sheepishly: Alright, I’ll go.
At my Mylar balloons’ suggestion, I headed to the Nature’s Harvest store near the hospital where I work. Found the Udi’s GF rolls that taste just as good as the deli rolls I love so much. I headed over to the Giant and teamed up with a Mylar sunflower. Found the good tasting breads in the frozen aisle; the balloon patted my head each time he agreed with my choices. The supermarket had fresh chicken on sale for less than half the price I’d paid for Tyson chicken. The prices for the bread are steep but my balloons had it right. I’d save money by buying plain rice and fresh chicken.
I was going to chat with a dietitian, but the balloons have taken that job. Now they’re giving me financial advice. What next? My Mylar balloons are, after all, the boss. 